Okay, you've stood silently in the kitchen for 3 minutes now as Meryl Streep got a snack from the kitchen. She looks weirded out - maybe stop breathing so loudly?

"Hello... you doing alright?"

• "Yes, I am the best I ever was and the best I ever will be. All is perfect all the time. Namaste..."
• Say nothing and be completely still - maybe she'll think this is performance art (and respect you for it).