"Oh wow, that was easy."

Queen Amphitrite boops you on the nose. Suddenly, the thoughts come rushing to your mind.
What am I? What have I done in life? I'm just a dumbass seal! I don't have any legs or opposable thumbs! How am I going to steam a shirt? I'd have to show up to job interviews in a wrinkly shirt. Nobody will ever take me seriously. I am a failure.